Eminem - Haley's Song

sometimes i think i'm crazy
i'm crazy, oh so crazy
why am i here? am i just wasting my time?

Haven't had much time to think about some of my personal problems lately because i've been busy dodging bullets. I got my report back and (as always) my parents are not too impressed by the results. "Why are your marks so crap?", "See, your teachers say to revise more", "How come everyone else spends soo much time doing homework" "blah", "blah", "blah"

After 2 days of non-stop why's i finally have peace again (not that i've heard a single thing they've said anyway). Which means i now have time to contemplate the infinite number of other problems in my life. In effect, it's out of the proverbial frying pan and into the proverbial volcano. And to make matters worse, my friends are also going through some shit that i invariably listen to.

Listening to their problems seem to make me think more about mine and it's maddening. Some people find enlightment through insanity, but i'm just not one of those people. And i can't just ignore them and turn them away because then i start to feel guilty (not as morally broke as i'd like to be) and there's yet another problem for me to deal with.

I'd like to give in to the madness and let it all fall apart... but there are too many things holding me back. I can see the sunset over the horizon but my wings are clipped...

damn reality!

today's top 5: incorrect proverbs

1. "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get". We all know what we're going to get from life; namely hell on earth. Life is not like a box of chocolates unless you're allergic to cocoa.
2. "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy". It may make Jack a dull boy, but it also makes Jack a very rich boy. As we all know, money is power and nothing is more fun or exciting than having power.
3. "curiousity killed the cat". Gravity and the dog killed the cat. Curiousity killed the nuclear physicist
4. "the pen is mightier than the sword". The pen is in no way mightier than the sword. The writer and his/her words are mightier than the sword. But the nuclear bomb is still mightier than the pen.
5. "everybody is special". Of course you're unique...just like everyone else...

Blink 182 - Feeling This

fate fell short this time
your smile fades in the summer
place your hand in mine
i'll leave when i wanna'

Why does it seem like the sky is falling down? My dreams are crumbling in the wake of reality. I'm so confused as to what i should be thinking about the things that make life what it is. I've always been cynical about 'true love' yet ive recently longed for somebody. My friends, who i thought i could rely on, feel like they're getting further and further away. What do i do? Do i just accept it and live in an increasingly superficial world? Or do i deal with the problems and risk everything? Unlike most of the others problems i've faced so far, neitehr a dartboard nor google will be of any help...

today's top 5: top 5 topics i'd like to do and why i won't do them

1. top 5 cheeses. i won't do this because, as far as i can tell, all cheeses taste more or less the same
2. top 5 cliches. will not be done due to the sheer number of cliches in the running
3. top 5 ways of saying "f*ck". will not be done because i can't be bothered downloading the patches for other languages and because i don't know enough ways of saying "f*ck"
4. top 5 reasons why george w. bush is a dipstick. pointless. it's obvious he's a wanker (like most americans)
5. top 5 whores. hollywood is full of them. also can not afford to go to court should one of them accidentally come across this site.

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be
and i don't want to go home right now...

As with every weekedn in my life, this one was equally lethargic and meaningless. Saturday: go tutor, have dinner, watch tv until about 12. Sunday: wake up at 9-ish, ride bike, have lunch, go back to sleep, do some work, have dinner, bum around on computer, go to sleep. Same boring as hell routine every single god damned weekend for as long as i can remember. I have to find something meaningful to do with my life besides sleeping

Anyway, during all the non-active time i have every weekend, i think about things that either make me really depressed or just piss me off no end. This weekend got me thinking about not having a girlfriend. On the one hand, seeing everyone else having such intimate relationships and being all along is sort of depressing. I want to have someone to share my trials and tribulations with (damn there are heaps of those) and someone to give me a purpose (besides self gratification) to do the things i do. Yet, at the same time, i know that i haven't met anyone really special that i would want to devote my time and thoughts to. Maybe i am ignorant. Maybe the answer has been sitting inf ront of me this whole time...

today's top 5: novel ways of committing suicide

1. sniff liquid paper until you bleed to death through your nose
2. chain yourself to a chair, throw away the key and play music from the bee gees until either your testicles, bladder or head explode
3. attempt to castrate or circumcise yourself using a kitchen knife. should you survive operating on yourself, you can then use the kitchen knife to commit suicide the regular way
4. Try to force a bowling ball into you mouth. This works in one of two ways. You will either die of old age trying to get the damn thing fits in or (and this is far less likely) you manage to get the thing into your mouth and then die from a stomach haemorhage.
5. walk into Cabramatta dressed as Pauline Hanson

Corrinne May - Same Side Of The Moon

And though you'll never see the tears shining through
I know i can't be that far away from you
if we're both looking at the same side of the moon

Well, what can i say... from last week's volcanic 38 degrees to today's chilly 15 degrees. If i weren't an atheist, i would think that God was either pissed or pissed off. But, since i am an atheist, i'll blame it on my shitty karma which has finally caught up with me. Just because i'm an atheist doesn't mean i can't be superstitious.

since i've got nothing else to discuss, i figured i'd make today's topic of discussion is the role religion plays in the dystopic society of today. I suppose in a world as stuffed up as our own there are three trains of thought as to why having god/s is important. For the atheist/cynic religion means as much as the sand on a foreign planet. For the devoutist, religion is a way of finding guidance and spiritual enlightment. For everyone else, religion is a way to dump off emotional baggage onto figures which may or may not be real.

However, what the devoutist often overlooks is the religious loophole which exists. All religions (save Buddhism) condemn the worshipping of 'false idols'. These false idols include the gods of any other religion. So in effect, all catholics are damned by the islam religion, all islams are damned by the Greek orthodox, so on and so forth. However, no religion states that not worshipping their god/s will result in eternal damnation in the pits of hell/hades/etc. This is where the atheists (such as myself) win out. As atheists worship no god, they are safely hedging their bets and will be the only ones not to go to hell as a result of this loophole.

Another reason why the atheist is less likely to go to hell than the devout church/temple/mosque/etc. goer lies in the 'charitable acts' clause. Most religions preach helping others and working towards the betterment of your fellow man as being a pathway to heaven. Put simply, going to church/temple/mosuqe/etc. in no way contributes to society (positive or otherwise). Instead, the atheist spends this time doing charity work, visiting old folks homes etc. which do actually have a positive effect. Not all atheists fit this criteria however as many are morally broke, but so are many visitors to places of worship.

The devoutist is the one who goes to church, reads the bible at night and goes to hell. Meanwhile, the atheist ignores the word of the bible, does what they feel is morally correct and goes to heaven.

today's top 5: irritating cartoons

1. The king of all pissy cartoons is, without a doubt, pokemon. Not only does every episode possess the same story line (using that term very broadly there) the series has dragged on forever and ever and ever... as Jeffery put it, "it's about some sad ass guy who keeps winning battles under amazing coincidences. why the hell can't he just finish his journey already? Sif drag it on for 5 series...".
2. Crush gears is yet another annoying cartoon from Japan. It's effectively pokemon but with people yelling at tank-robot things instead of midget monsters. Everything about this cartoon is irksome, even the theme song sucks
3. Bob the builder isn't all that bad a cartoon... until they released the opening song as a single. now i have a swarm of deranged madmen running around singing it and for that reason alone, bob deserves to be on this list. can we fix it? i bloody hope so
4. as far as confusing plots go, nothing comes close to evangelion. unlike pokemon with it's almost non-existent plot, the storyline behind evangelion makes about as much sense as re-electing George W. Bush as president. By the time you've worked out what the hell is going on, you will have watched the same episode about 6 times and it would have become tediously boring and irritating
5. you'd figure any cartoon about driving fast cars with some romance would score well wouldn't you? initial d fits both those criteria. unfortunately, it suffers from too-many-seasons-to-finish-plot syndrome.

note: apologies to any religious fanatic who reads this entry. i am only expressing my views as both an atheist and as a cynic. in no way are my words intended to bring about the apocalypse.

Coldplay - Yellow

look at the stars
look how they shine on you
and all the things that you do

Why does the same thing sound different to other people? Why do some people see the ugliest chick in the world and think she's hot? Why the hell does chicken taste like everything? I've had a think about all this and i've come to this conclusion:

Every human being exists in a complete and seperate universe. There is a "real world" but that world only takes on signifigance when several human's universes intersect. If the universes disagree then the real world ceases to exist at that particular point in space-time. Like if I say to you "I have a cookie in my hand".... you know the damn thing is there cause I'm holding it. So my universe says I've got one, but you could convince yourself that you see no cookie... What you say would not be a knowing lie, and you would say "I see no cookie." Our universes are both true, but since they don't intersect, then where is the "real" world? The "real world" comes into existence when somebody walks up to the two of us standing there and says "Hey... who took my cookie?"

today's top 5: things to do at K Mart

1. Hide in the clothing racks and whisper, "Pick me.. pick me..."
2. Dart around suspiciously while humming the tune from Mission Impossible
3. Sneak behind the counter, saying "We have a code 3 in aisle 4" into the microphone and seeing what happens
4. Upon hearing the calls on the P.A system, assume the foetal position and yell out "Aarrgghh! It's the voices again!"
5. Open several packets of M&M's and attempt to put them in alphabetical order

please note that these activities were 'borrowed' from a chain mail.

Joel Turner and the Modern Day Poets

These kids trapped in a struggle and
Don't know where they're heading, no
A head full of trouble is all they're getting
And nobody knows the suffering they go through
And you wouldn't believe 'em if they told you

Well those lyrics pretty much sum up the story of my life. It feels like i'm going nowhere, yet time is passing by so fast. The more i think about it, the more i realise how little i've accomplished and the more regrets i have.

In most times of crisis, you can always turn to your friends right? Well... i'd like to think so but in all reality, my friends would be as useful as a concrete slab if i were drowning. And that's not to say they're rock solid either. there is no underlying metaphor here so god protect me from my friends because from my enemies i can defend myself.

today's top 5: thing's i want for christmas

1. world peace because the world is such a f*cked up place at the moment. For once, i'd like to see something besides money making the world go 'round
2. i'd like to see all of the world's leaders hurled into the sun. although this may not solve the issues of war and famine, it would be deeply satusfying to witness
3. since world peace is never going to happen unless we hurl all of humanity into the sun, i would like some money. after all, it makes the world go 'round and we'd hate for that to stop happening.
4. i want a girlfriend. sure, being single has it's bonuses but it would be nice to have a shoulder to cry on when things go wrong
5. last, but not least, i would like my own island in the middle of nowhere so that my girlfriend and i can enjoy some private time without the shittiness of modern society.

Simple Plan - Perfect

'cause we lost it all
nothing lasts forever
i'm sorry i can't be perfect...

First period of english extension 2 today and it seems to be a hell of a lot more work than i expected (major work, journal, viva voce etc.). On the same topic, i've started a new blog dedicated to my major work which will include updated versions of it whenever possible. You can find it at www.holyfarglesnort.blogspot.com

today's top 5: internet acronyms i'd like to see

1. SIA - scratching itchy ass
2. JLMVO - just lost my virginity online
3. DTHW - damn this homework
4. GFCFB - girlfriend calling from bedroom
5. STIW - simultaneous television, internet and work (can also be replaced by MMT - mass multi-tasking)

Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway

i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly
i'll do what it takes till i reach the sky
and i'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change...

Pleasant day so i decided to go to the park. Decided not to ride my bike there due to injury resulting from previously mentioned collision (see previous entry). Unfortunately, my whole family decided to tag along and this resulted in about an hour at the park and 3 hours at the shopping centre. This would all be well and good if i had something to buy or if i were a chick (apparently shopping constitutes a sport).

Anyway, enough rambling on about my life

today's top 5: stupid things people have said or done

1. "the gravity pulls it up...", Merlin
2. "you're blocking my shade...", Colin
3. trying to break pencil on head and injuring head in process, Desi
4. " I want to eat Japanese cow...", Mandy
5. turning a bulldozer into an armoured tank and destroying council buildings, and angry american guy

Utada Hikaru - Blow My Whistle

whether you are ready or not
i'm coming with all that i've got
then while you decide
we are undefined

Nursing some wounds and giving the rear end a bit of a break. Let me explain. Yesterday i went bike riding with the unholy trinity (David, Keagan and Liam). Half way through the 30-ish kilometre trail, David's bike decides that it would be funny to start leaking air from the front tyre. Needless to say, the tyre was flat within about 10 minutes. This effectively turned a 3 hour ride into a 7 and a bit hour one going at snails pace.

When going downhill at a rather high speed (stupid me) i hit a conveniently positioned patch of gravel. Despite my desperate attempts at braking, the rear wheel took a massive slide sideways and i ended up pile driving side on into a fence (ouch ouch ouch!). Luckily, i got away with only a few grazes and a bruised left shoulder.

In summary, bad things happen when David is around. Things implode for no reason, dormant volcanoes erupt and durian sized hailstones fall from the collapsing sky. Note to self: bike+david=slow. Second note to self: bike+downhill+gravel=fence

today's top 5: signs that you're an asian

1. you say things such as "wah!" and "aiya!"
2. you and/or your parents drive shitty cars such as toyota camry because of cheap insurance and fuel economy
3. your parents forbid you from having a boyfriend/girlfriend until you're at least 25
4. your doctor will prescribe panadol and rest for any ailment ranging from a headache to bubonic plague
5. visiting other people's homes invariably results in a visit to a fruit shop to pick up a gift box of mangoes (or whatever's cheapest at the time)

disclaimer: please note that i am also asian and it is therefore perfectly acceptable for me to be publishing such KKK-esque nonsense

Dido - Whiteflag

i will go down with this ship
and i won't put my hands up in surrender
there will be no white flag above my door
i'm in love and always will be...

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the grass is growing, and the holidays are almost over. oh well, 3 out of 4 isn't too bad. As much of a downer as going back to school is (especially since i'm starting year 12) just remember that you should never let school interfere with your education. Sure, if you fail your parents will probabaly disown you before nailing you to a cross and castrating you but that's the worst thing that could possibly happen (i mean it, nothing worse could possibly happen). Just remember that should your UAI be in single digits (or negative figures) there are still a number of jobs with impressive titles available to you including garbologist (also known as a garbage man), a learning facilitator (also known as a teacher) and conscientious objector (also known as a lazy fag).

Failure is not the end of the world, it is merely the beginning of hell...

today's top 5: warning labels

1. warning label on a superhero cape, "wearing this will not grant you the ability to fly. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO JUMP OUT OF ANY WINDOWS"
2. warning label on a chainsaw, "do not hit people with active chainsaw"
3. warning label on a knife, "not designed for cutting up small children"
4. warning label on computer monitor, "not to be used as a projectile"
5. instructions on American Airlines peanuts packet, "1. open packet... 2. consume peanuts" (strictly not a warning label, but funny none the less)

Linkin Park - Breaking The Habit

i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i insitgate
or say what i don't mean

Howdy everybody! Generally a nice day (any day i draw breath is a nice day). Looking forward to the curtain being dropped on political electioneering on tv. From what i've seen so far, this whole campaign (for both major parties) revolves around the reliability of Mark Latham. Anyway, i shouldn't be complaining about the six weeks of electioneering/propaganda (apparently the longest campaign in Australia's history) because the americans often have year long campaigns.

It's always such a shame when politics becomes a war of name calling rather than the offering of empty promises. What happened to the good old days where we were told that tax rates would drop only to have them double? Instead we have Mark Latham being called a 'dunce' while John Howard is being labelled as being 'unbelievable'.

As always, it doesn't matter who gets elected in because all the promises (or lack there of this time) will become null and void, the world continues to get worse (apparently still possible) and the people get angrier (but not wiser). Vote for liberal and we get served the same crap we've been living with for the last couple of years. Vote labor and close the liberal box of doom and open up a whole new pandora's box. In conclusion, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't (more so because you get fined). So go vote for your plague of choice.

Today's top 5: things i look for in a girl

1. first impressions count, so looks are important. (as superficial as that sounds, i'd be lying if i said looks don't count)
2. a sense of humour is a plus because it's no fun hanging out with a chick who doesn't see the humour in anything
3. similar interests but conflicting viewpoints on them. You can't have a discussion unless you know what you're talking about and a discussion isn't much of a discussion if you both agree on everything.
4. emotionally and mentally stable. For a guy, chicks are a mystery at the best of times. If a girl doesn't know what she wants, the guy has absolutely no hope of knowing.
5. most importantly, must have friends that aren't absolute bitches. Bitchy friends are the cause of 90% of break ups (okay, i made that staistic up, but it's somewhere within that vicinity)

disclaimer: if any of this material strikes you as being odd, just remember that i am a very odd/cynical/morbid person. if any of this material strikes you as being offensive or sacriligious i apologise and highly recommend that you go and get a life =)

Switchfoot - Meant To Live

fumbling his confidence
and wondering why the world has passed him by
hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
and failed attempts to fly

Basketball at Regents Park tunred out to be lunch and games Haidang's place. =P the timetable went something like this:
10:00 - meet at regents park
12:00 - get on train to lidcombe
12:20 - lunch
1:00 - games

still, heaps of fun ^^

today's top 5: sucky tv shows

1. big brother - what on earth is soo entertaining about watching people eating ice cream and being general idiots?
2. dancing with the stars - pauline hanson dancing... enough said
3. bold and the beautiful/days of our lives/etc. - daytime soap operas in which everyone knows everyone, has slept with everyone and is coincidentally related to everyone
4. australian idol - too much hype, not enough delivered. voting is a money making scam
5. just about everything on channel 10 - 99.9% commercial junk and 0.1% non-commercial junk.

Avril Lavinge - Why

so go on and think about whatever you need to think about
go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
and come back to me when you know just how you feel...

Go the doggies! As Mary would put it, "eat those chickens!" ^^
Sorry to all the pedestrians i almost ran over today whilst trying to figure out how the gearing system on my bike works. On the other hand, some of them deserved it for walking double file across both lanes of the bike path. So for those who i almost ran over *bows and grovels*, to those walking double file *shakes fist*

today's top 5: things guys wish chicks knew...

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
2. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
3. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
4. He doesn't know what day it is and never will. Mark anniversaries, birthdays etc. on a calendar.
5. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

Powderfinger - My Happiness

So you come in and put your bags down
know there's something in the air
how can i do this to you right now?
you're over there when i need you here...

Nothing interesting happening today, so i'll just post todays' top 5.

today's top 5: worst songs

1. Macy Gray - i try
2. Linkin Park - cure for the itch
3. Nelly - hot in herre
4. Chingy - holidae inn
5. that damn song from Perfect Blue

Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes

But my dreams, they aren't as empty
as my conscience seems to be
i have hours, only lonely
my love is vengeance, that's never free

The unfamiliar sound of falling raindrops fills the air as i type. It has an surreal tranquil to it. very unnerving....

anyway, that's enough semi-poetic crud from me.

today's top 5: things i hate about everybody

1. you don't see me pointing to my crotch when i'm asking where the toilet is so don't point to your wrist when asking what the time is
2. McDonald workers who act as if your speaking some foreign language when you don't 'Mc' in front of your orders. Take a freakin' Mc Straw and jam it into you Mc Eye you Mc Retards
3. People who say, "you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! what good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When something is 'new and improved!'...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
5. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears, Rubber boots?