I Won't Revise

A little something I found while browsing Bored of Studies.

(sung to the tune of 'I Will Survive')

At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinking I could never pass without revision guides,
But then I spent so many nights, getting all the questions wrong,
And I grew strong,
And I learned how to scrape along,

I won't look back, to any place,
When I can swallow 15 shots and get completely off my face,
I would have spent all day at work, I would have had no spare time free,
If I'd thought for just one second my exams would bother me,
So all my notes, are on the floor,
Don't even matter... that there's no Comedy night anymore...
Weren't you the one who tried to get me to revise?

You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd work towards the skies?

Oh no, not I!
I won't revise!
Unless I die from alcohol, I know I'll stay alive,
Though my money's at an end,
I've my overdraft to spend,
I won't revise,
I won't revise!!

It took all the strength I had, not to act the part,
But in the end my real revision didn't even start.
I used to sit at home at night, feeling guilty to myself,
I used to try,
But now hold my head up high,
And you see me! Somebody new!
I'm not that mixed up weird person who wants a good 99.2
So if you feel like dropping in, chances are that I'll be free,
Coz I've done fuck all revision, and I'll fail my HSC,

Oh no, not I!
I won't revise,
I think that I may scrape a third, but I could be telling lies!
Let the teachers all scorn,
My bed's far too nice and warm,
I won't revise,
I won't revise, yeah yeah!

Recipe For Success

If at first you don't succeed, redefine 'success'.

Any other wise words?

Mysterious Brass Key

You are a mysterious little brass key. Everyone
knows you open something, but no one is quite
sure what. Don't worry, though; as long as
people keep trying, they'll eventually figure
out what you have to offer.


What sort of key are you and what do you unlock?
brought to you by Quizilla

Why It Should Be Edible

Ideally, 'study' in the context of the HSC should be something edible. Reasons for this include:

1. It takes hours to digest but only a few minutes to turn to shit.
2. It's disgusting just like everything else that is supposedly good for us.
3. Like all disgusting food, it really won't do us any good and we'll end up regurgitating the lot in the exam hall (assuming it hasn't already turned to shit).
4. Not eating = death. Not studying = low UAI = death.
5. Too much food = cardiac arrest. Too much study = cardiac arrest.
6. A frequently used mathematical term is homophonic with a round pastry dish.
7. We all love food. If study were edible, we would love study too.

Convinced?