Wishing you a merry x-mas and a crappy new year...

If i had a horse, i would go riding through the city calling out "the holidays are here! the holidays are here!". And as i do, parents everywhere will groan as though i am one of the four horsemen, come to hreald the arrival of the apocalypse. Yes, it's that time of year again where everyone goes crazy. No work for six weeks (for most people anyway) and a whole lot of time to bum around. Besides all the alcoholic binges and traffic accidents, there has to be something else that strikes a chord. Something that tells us that it really is the silly season besides me being dragged down the street by a horse. Does anybody know what it is? No. Does anybody care? No. Will everyone spend the next 12 months paying off credit cards? You bet you ass!

Something that definitely does not signify the end of the year is the pile of stuff i have to do during my 'holidays'. This list includes: read 'the shipping news' for ext. 1 english, read 'wild swans' for adv. english, list of stuff my physics teacher gave me, two units of japanese worksheets, write atleast the first half of my ext. 2 english major (about 3000 words), revise that parabola/locus/parametrics shite for maths. And that's just the list of school related stuff. Stuff i want to do of my own accord include: go cycling with friends, go to the beach, watch a few movies, read 'enduring love' by ian mcewen, read 'the da vici code', read 'waiting for godot' by samuel beckett (which i've heard is impossible), get piss drunk on NYE, go to a few parties, pick up tennis again, plus a whole heap of other stuff.

The yule tide season must also be a time to reflect upon the year that has passed because i find myself thinking way too much about the complete disaster that was 2004.
Reflecting on the year that has passed, i that i have achieved very little. The resolutions for 2004 were as follows:

• put some effort into my school work
• find something useful to do with my spare time
• go out with friends more

Of the three, i can say that i have not accomplished any of them unless sleeping counts as practical time expenditure.

I am hoping 2005 will be more productive, more fun and more successful because i've got my HSC and my apathetic attitude will definitely have to go. In 2005, my resolutions are:

• Work more and play harder
• Do things for other people without thought of self gratification
• Get a girlfriend!
• Get a UAI higher than 99.7 so i can go study law at U. Syd.
• Be nice to my brother (this will require more effort thanh getting a 99.7 UAI)

I know it'll be damn hard to do all that and still remain breathing, but i'm sure that 2005 will be the best year of my life because that's what i intend on making it.

Anyway, going to melbourne in a few days so i might not be posting for a while. Missing you guys heaps already...

approaching extinction...

*yawns* feeling a bit tired right now, not to mention sore.

Last night (not to mention most of the afternoon) was spent celebrating Lisa's seventeenth at her place. Six hours and several drinks later (nothing alcoholic unfortunately) i was feeling quite... errr... pissed? Didn't see any chicks that i might like (pedantic taste) so, like it always has been, i'm still alone and searching for that perfect somebody.

Getting home at about 11 and not falling asleep until about 1, you'd think it would be a good idea to just sleep in until at least midday. Normally i would sleep in until midday. Unfortunately, my brain has already gone on vacation and left me stranded in the land of stupidity. So i woke up at 9, hopped on my bike and (with my brother 100m or so behind me) didn't get home until about 2. Feeling very sore right now, not to mention craving copious amounts of caffeine.

In conclusion: productivity was nil, fun factor is sitting at 100%, fatigue is about 85% and happiness is almost existent.

Happy birthday Lisa!

The end is nigh...

They put up the same lights every year, but every year i look at them and still think of how beautiful they look. As i look outside my window, i see nothing but lights. But something is missing. Where's the magic that comes with them? This year, all i feel when i look at them is nauseated. Nauseated because they remind me of how superficial the world is ("my lights are brighter than your lights..."). Nauseated because Christmas carols have been replaced with sales pitches. Nauseated because i'm a part of a system that i loathe so much.

every year the lights get brighter yet they grow dimmer...

today's top 5: christmas wishlist 2004

1. I want to be able to find the motivation to do what i've always wanted to and the willpower to do the things i don't.
2. To hear the jingles of bells instead of the jingles of shops.
3. To find myself with a nice girl (in both senses of the word 'nice') under mistletoe.
4. Food, drink and good company.
5. To get through a week without having a bitch fight with my family.

Gwen Stefani - What You Waitin For?

take a chance you stupid hoe...

I have a very massive sinking feeling. The kind you get when you know somethings gone wrong but pray to hell that it hasn't. Perhaps I should elaborate. A few weeks ago i did a 2u maths test which i am certain i did pretty crappy in. Anyway, i went up to the staffroom to see if i could get my mark. My teacher refused to give it to me until class tomorrow. She did, however, say that i "did some very odd things". What can i say, i've never been a conformist. Anyway, that pretty much confirmed that i f*cked it up really really good.

And to cap off my day, i had an uber shitty english lesson with my shitty english teacher. This was even shitter than ever because i couldn't damn well concentrate on the work we were doing because i was too busy thinking about the aforementioned maths results and because we were reading 'Emma' which is quite possibly the most incomprehensible boring piece of shit ever written.

On a brighter note, i met my Japanese open high school teacher today and she seemed really really nice. She's also really really short, but that's beside the point. She spoke at a speed that was fast but still comprehensible (unlike my otehr teacher who spoke warp speed) which is good because my Jap. still needs a whole lot of practice.

I guess today was just one of those days that seems to be occurring on an ever increasing frequency. Oh well, back to hunting down that four leaf clover...

Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head

i'm gonna' buy a gun and start a war
if you can tell me something worth fighting for

Booyah! Assessments are all done and out of the way for the year and it is now time to sit back, eat, drink and be merry. Although the last time i got merry whilst drinking i ended up feeling a bit f*cked up for the next few days or so. Oh well, sacrifices have to made right?

I've finally got my Christmas tree up. It's got stuff all over it. Tinsel, little santa figurines, baubles, apples, violins, Christmas cards, bon bons, lights... you name it and it's probably on my tree. Like it does every year, the lights took a good half hour to untangle and another half hour or so to put onto the actual tree. The sad thing is that the lights aren't ever turned on because my parents are too tight to waste electricity. "Why do you have to have it turned on? It wastes so much electricity and money doesn't grow on trees anymore!". Anymore?
Hmmm... wonder what happened to the trees. Maybe they evolved out of money because people kept logging them for it. The other reason why i don't turn the lights on is because they're wired up to some little speaker box thing which plays crappy bad sounding Christmas carols which make me want to kill someone.

Not that i'm a sentimental Christmas junkie or anything but merry christmas to everyone. Enjoy the not-so-silent nights and all the ho ho ho's (take it as you will).

Jennifer Love Hewitt - How Do I Deal

everyday i wake up
to another day gone by
nothing but the open road
and a never ending why

Memories aren't made to last. Especially not the happy ones. The sad memories seem to linger just that little bit longer and even they eventuallyfade into oblivion. But this oblivion isn't at all blissful. There will always remain this minute remnant, like the dust in the corner that the cleaners always miss. You know that there is something mysterious, something painful, perhaps even something beautiful. You know there is something... but what? And as you continue to search for something you can't quite place you unearth pieces of other memories. But how can you be sure any of them ever existed outside your mind?

Did you really fall asleep in class one day and wake up to find yourself in the room, accompanied only by your backpack and the chatter of the kids outside?

Did you really fall asleep in your girlfriend's arms after hours of talking and hours of silence, waking up to find a note which read "Last night was really special. I spent hours watching your sleepless lashes..."?

How can you be certain that all these things ever really happened? After a life of sleeping, how can you be sure that this reflection on the past isn't just a dream?

Bowling For Soup - 1985

her dreams went out the door
when she turned twenty four

Holy shit! I just realised how much stuff I have due this week. English Advanced assessment on Thursday (postponed from last Friday due to Jap. excursion). Three unit maths test on Friday. And, to add icing to the cake, a 1500 word short story on ‘retreat from the global’ also due on Friday. As you can see, I have quite a large amount of shit to deal with before I can put my feet up for the year and enjoy the festivities. This is in no way going to stop me from blogging. In fact, I will probably be blogging more since there will be so much more anger, frustration and stress for me to vent out than usual.

Kylie Minogue - I Believe In You

the joker's alway's smiling
in every hand that's dealt

It was such a good day today. Got to skip an english exam to go to the city and check out the japanese film festival. We watched this movie called 'Quill' which was about a labrador called Quill (because it has a mark on it resembling a bird). It was soo cute! Especially in the opening scenes where it was just a little pupy and it was trying to walk. *awwwwww* It was pretty sad (as in emotional, not as in crappy) when Quill leaves his owners to go train as a guide dog and i almost cried when i was watching that. So kudos to the movie for that. It's been such a damn long time since i've ever actually given enough of a damn about the characters to cry, so for a dog to almost pull it off was really something special.

Damn, just thinking about it makes me want to cry *sniffles*

Good Charlotte - Predictable

i saw this coming still i don't know why...

The reason why the world is so full of violence is that nobody is angry enough to do anything.The world contineus to allow warfare and terrorism because it simply doesn't give enough of a damn to step in and do anything about it. Nobody finds it worthwhile to get up and shoot somebody in an attempt to stop the violence. Let's face it, the onyl thing stopping us from doing this is the fact that the punishment will be applied and we'll most likely end up in jail or an asylum or in an electric chair.

Who comes up with these rules? The government of course! Contrary to popular belief (propogated by the government no doubt) these laws are not there for our safety, they are there for their safety. If it were legal to go and kill somebody on the basis that they really annoyed you, then all of Australia's politicians, TV personalities (not that they have personalities) and lawyers would be in a great deal of strife.

This is not another government conspiracy, nor is it endorsed by any government bodies.

today's top 5: reasons why i can't think of a decent top 5 category today (and most other days)

1. It is damn hot today and my brain has gone on strike. It will return to the crevice in my head as soon as the working conditions become more favourable.
2. I have got some songs playing at the moment which i do not understand because they are in various non-English languages. This problem could be solved by turning the speakers off but that requires far too much effort.
3. My life is as exciting as watching grass grow. Never really see or hear anything remotely interesting or exciting so there isn't much to write about.
4. I'm married to my apathy and nothing can seperate me from it. I also have the occassional affair with work but i'm sure you don't want or need to hear about that
5. Any thoughts i have that are worth pondering over stay in my head for various reasons.