This Weeks Highlight

As exciting as it was to finally take delivery of Eliot (my lovely new laptop) and as spectacularly as I may have failed my Latin quiz due to non-ANZAC related ANZAC Day celebrations, the highlight of the week would have to be Friday's psychology lecture. Why, you may ask? Because there are few things more interesting than watching someone who should know better consume an entire pack of sleeping tablets (all eighty of them) because they think they know better. "There is virtually no active ingredient in these things so I just paid nineteen dollars for eighty sugar tablets... some students attend all three lectures just to see if I fall over", says Dr Caleb Owen. Alan's thought on the matter: if the tablets don't kill him, the diabetes should.

Another Easter Rant?

I could easily have another stab at Easter and how shitty and commercialised it's become. But that would be far too easy (and besides, the Easter Bunny promised me lots of chocolates if I was nice).

On second thoughts, Easter Bunny be damned! I can get my own chocolate. Where to begin... Stuff I hate about Easter:

1. It's become the third most commercialised holiday (after Christmas and you-just-got-raped-by-hallmark day)
2. It's harder to find good chocolate because so much suck-arse stuff is going around.
3. The Easter Show - pay money to wade through manure and little kids? No thanks.
4. The Easter Bunny is a mean bastard who only gives chocolates as hush money. I will not be silenced!
5. How the church tries desperately to make people feel guilty about not going to church even though Jesus allegedly sacrificed himself to save us all and what not.
6. How the media says that everything else they report is only 'alleged' (alleged murderers, alleged drug mules) but not Jesus' resurrection which is just "Jesus' resurrection".
7. The kids at the Easter Show because they're spoilt little shits.
8. The kids not at the Easter Show because they're in the city making life difficult for me everytime I want to see a movie, go to a restaurant or play pool.

Things I like about Easter:

1. The chocolate. Even though there's more shifty chocolate out there, it's still chocolate and everybody knows that chocolate is one of only three things that solves everything. The other two are classical music and poetry.
2. The chocolate.
3. The chocolate.
4. Oh, and don't forget the chocolate.

Just remember: the church is a scam, the Easter Bunny is an extortionist, little kids suck and you can wade through shit for free in Parliament House. Happy Easter everyone!