Please Throw Me In The Asylum

As I look outside my window, I think of how ironic it is that life bringing rain is pittering and pattering away while my life slowly whittles down to the dust sitting on my desk. I ponder about what it is the future holds and whether or not I'll be able to find the energy to change it.

In times like these, the religious seek answers in false idols. But I've no idols to worship; I gave up when I realised only I was listening to my prayers. Seeking answers has made me weary and sleepless. The answers will find me. It's just a matter of time...

Having a two week holiday in which you must work your arse off is about as useful as having cake and not being able to eat it. It is like being a eunuch on an island of naked women. Just the prospect of it all makes me want to find a corner and assume the foetal position. What is a cake deprived eunuch to do? He grabs the nearest banana of course!

Congratulations Princesses!

A big congratulations to Princess David and Princess Libby for making it through to the state finals of the SMH Plain English Speaking Competition. David's fascist rant proved to be most entertaining.

Unfortunately, I couldn't attend the afternoon session and missed Libby's speech. =( Sorry I missed your speech. I promise I won't miss it in the finals!

For the people I haven't sent this to yet...

Hi! Guess what!I'm going to do the World Vision 40 Hour Famine in August this year.

I'll be going without food for 40 hours to raise money to help feed hungry kids.Just $40 will help feed 6 children in Africa for a whole month. To find out moreabout how the funds raised are going to be used click onhttp://www.worldvision.com.au/40HourFamine/about_money.asp.

Could you please support me by giving a donation?If you can, simply visit the World Vision 40 Hour Famine website(http://www.40hourfamine.com.au) and click on Donate Here. Donations are taxdeductible and the minimum amount is $2. You will receive a receipt as soon asyou've made the donation.When it asks you for the Famine Number, enter 25166874-5. This makes sure thatthe donation is recorded against me and that I'm sent a record of your donation.

(You can also go directly to the donate screen by clicking here(https://famine.worldvision.com.au/famine.cgi?a=SPONSOR_&pn=25166874-5).

Thank you very much!

Psychoanalysis of a cynic

I've got a few dozen of these things in my email and a lot of time on my hands so I figured I may as well do one...

1. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Francis Fukuyama's 'The end of history and the last man'
2. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 8:30pm
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My mouse
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble
5. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? Don't read them
6. BABIES? I loathe them. Glad I was never one
7. FAVOURITE SOUND? Silence
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Hunger
9. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? It'd better be Sunday...
10. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Nobody ever calls me
11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? I will die a cold and lonely man
12. FAVOURITE COLOUR? Black (I know it's technically not a colour)
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? My friends, my pen and my poetry
14. FAVOURITE FOOD? Japanese. mmmm... sushi....
15. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? A flute because i like the sound
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? I don't drive
17. SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Not unless my blanket counts
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Both
20. THE ONE (exeptions allowed) PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? I don't know. My grandmother passed away recently and I wish I had gotten to know her better.
21. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Chardonnay
22. WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR? I don't have a car, but if I did I'd keep a body in the boot.
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? They're the best part
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Psychologist if i have to work, dole bludger if that counts as an occupation
25. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Anybody who is sane.
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? I'm not sure if it was actually love or just a fleeting lust.
27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Neither. I've drunken the contents already.
28. FAVOURITE MOVIE? Saving Private Ryan, The Last Samurai and Quill
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? I think so
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Dust, some old newspapers, a slot car set, old socks and more dust.
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 13
32. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Rugby league. There's just something undeniably entertaining about watching grown men fight over a ball.
34. IF U COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? On top of Mt. Fuji
35. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? Anything that isn't school uniform.
36. BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? mountains
37. TECHNOLOGY OR ART? Can't live without either of them
38. COMEDY OR HORROR? horror is usually funny.
39. FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Smile, eyes
40. FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? midnight is lovely
41. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Don't recall, haven't boguht one in ages.
43. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? back
44. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? mind.
45. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6:30 on a school day, 11 on every other day
46. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? the microwave
47. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Shitty quizzes like this one
48. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? A nice shiny Porsche would be great.
49. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE ? Not really
50. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Spring and Winter
51. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? telepathic abilities
52. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? Don't have one and i don't intend on getting one
53. CAN YOU JUGGLE? not at all. I have the co-ordination of a drunken elephant
54. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? Friday
55. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Sushi
57. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? A dozen or so people
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON? Evangelion, Initial D and Full Metal Panic
59. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? A giant sushi platter
60. IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? Japan, China, Korea and all of Europe.
61. DO YOU HAVE PETS? I used to have 5 goldfish. They died. I used to have a dog. He died. I used to have a mouse. She died. As you can see, I'm not very good with animals.

I know some of the numbers are missing and quite frankly, I don't give a damn.

Sweet Dream

The stars twirl and twinkle overhead.
She wonders what they are.
A slow lullaby reminds her
That it doesn't matter

As she falls asleep.
She dreams of cotton candy skies
And chocolate covered rainbows.
Sweet dreams...

Perched swallows sing, each to each.
And they all sing for her.
Their song reminds her of mother's.

She wonders where mother will get them:
The mockingbirds and diamond rings,
And thinks about how she'd like a swallow.

'Why are you singing, swallows?'
'Because we're happy! Because we're happy!'

'Why are you happy, swallows?'
'Because you are here! Because you are here!'

'Your song makes me very happy.'
'Sing with us! Sing with us!'
'But I do not know how...'

Blue eyes squint at the sun outside.
She wonders where the swallows have gone.
Mother's voice reminds her
That it doesn't matter.

GLC '05

Instead of attending a double-maths day at school, I spent my day in Penrith (a.k.a. middle of nowhere) at the World Vision Global Leadership Convention (with Mai, Andrew, Grace, Sarah, Mel, Jack and Anderson). I started learning before I had even left home. Never thought the stars would still be up at five thirty in the morning nor did I ever think sunrise could look so beautiful against an urban skyline.

That aside, the day was as insightful as I hoped it might be and some of the statistics were really quite disturbing. For example - 2.6 billion people in the world live on under $2 a day (that's roughly 40% of the world's population). I've always known that poverty was quite a large problem but never imagined that it was to such a large extent.

My coffee will never taste the same again either. Most labourers on coffee plantations earn less than sixty cents per hour and are only employed for six months a year. During the working season they have barely enough to keep themselves alive. For the six months when there is no work for them, their families starve. Meanwhile, of the three dollars it costs us for a cup of coffee, only three cents goes back to the farmers. This is the root of the problem. But not all plantations treat their employees in this way. there are places called 'Fair Trade' plantations where the workers are garunteed work for at least two years and paid US$1.26 per hour (that's over double the otehr workers). In order to support fair trade goods (which include coffee, chocolate, tea etc.) we have to insist, as consumers, that large chains supply these goods. Sure, there will be a minor increase in prices (a few cents at most) but think about how this tiny contribution ensures that an entire family, not just an one person, is kept fed for an entire year.

By far the highlight of the day was Alex. Alex is a man from Mozambique who flew all the way to Australia to talk about the poverty which is plaguing his country. He talked about his experiences during his brief time in Australia (he's been here for two weeks) and how different life here is to life in Mozambique. His stories were told in such an animated manner and his sense of humour was amazing for someone who had been through so much. Even if I forget everything else that happened today, I will surely remember this remarkable man's smile.

Anyway, the Sefton crew who were there decided that our school could organise a 40 Hour Famine and raise two to three thousand dollars as a contribution to the crusade against poverty. Two thousand dollars is enough to feed three hundred third world kids for a month. We'd like as many participants as possible. If you don't think you can survive forty hours without food you can always give up something else (e.g. talking, internet, tv, homework...). And if your entire life is so dependent on a routine that, if disrupted, will cause the sky to fall, all donations would be greatly appreciated. As for myself, I'll probably give up cynicism and vulgarities for forty hours and donate another dollar everytime I cuss or make a cynical remark (I'll either be dead or broke after this). If you have any questions feel free to approach myself or any of my cohorts (I don't care if they want to help or not, I'm volunteering them anyway).

P.S. Never bring a backpack when going anywhere with girls unless you want to carry their stuff.

P.P.S. go the Blues!

The End of History

How far are we from 'the end of history'?

The Widow

Cockroaches scuttle across the flaking paint,
Tracing out a tale from memory
Of promises she buried an age ago.
Have they been released from Winter's thralldom?
Will they bloom tomorrow?

And if they are destined to rest beneath white sheets;
Will the nightingale's etudes ever drown
In the sonata of the dispirited cats crawling
Across cob-webbed ebony and dusty ivory?

These floors remember the dancing of two lovers.
The million steps i have taken since, made them cry
A million times to make up for each one missed.

There is nothing left for my chilled fingers to hold;
Only a phone that has forgotten to ring
And a black and white photo of a girl, hanging
By a thread as thin as my graying hair.

Even if flowers bloom tomorrow, I will never
See the opened petals nor smell the vialed scents.
It would only be a reverie;
One that I can not touch and should not be remembered
By the quill that scratches against white parchment.

Revenge of the donuts in snooker land

Today was the msot interesting day I've had in a while. I had a free period last with Thuy-An, Lawrence and Albie. We all hopped into Thuy's car (a quaint old Ford laser) because we were too damn lazy to walk and because she was the only one with her P's (I haven't even got my L's yet, don't see why I'd want to drive). After dropping Albie off at home we decided that we had a craving for some Krispy Kreme Doughnuts (I blame the Americans for the questionable spelling). Most people who know me will know that my sense of direction is terrible. I'm the kind of person who would accidentally lead whales onto beaches. We got a little bit lost (alright, we got totally lost) but we did end up working out where we were supposed to go.

Thuy would make as good a taxi driver as I'd make a navigator. Lawrence and I were giving her directions which she couldn't hear because we had the windows turned all the way down (you should have seen my hair!). Lawrences solution to the problem? Start yelling out directions like a lunatic. I honestly thoguht he was possessed and that we were going to hit something because he sounded like he was about to vomit out his intestines. We got to Krispy Kreme in one piece (minus hearing thanks to Lawrence) and we bought ourseves some donuts. Two dozen of them, in fact. Plus the two free samples we got each. Mmmmmmmm.. diabetes inducing goodness...

By the time we got to Cabramatta there were about 15 donuts left (Lawrence took his share and nicked off). We ran into Ansel who also had a free period and is part of our debating prac. crew. Picture this: the three of us sitting outside the front of Cabramatta library with an entire box of donuts. It was the kind of thing you'd expect to see on some HK street. Then Chanly turned up and suggested we go play pool at some weird nut arcade called 'Timegone'. It was just past three at this stage and our debating practice didn't start until 4.

If you ever want to play pool, DO NOT PLAY AT TIMEGONE! They have the shoddiest pool equipment in the known universe. Most bananas are straighter than the cues and the table was an odd sloped disaster. The ball actually curved whe you shot it down to one of the ends. For all the people who have seen 'The Castle', it's very much like that. Not to mention the incredibly dodgy placement of the table which meant we could have easily rammed the cues through the (non-functioning) screens behind us. Half way through our second game Chanly disappeared with Vinson (who everybody knows for some reason) and Danny popped in. So we then had Thuy with Danny versus Ansel and myself. They won the first two games and they lost the second two. I say 'lost' because we never did sink all of our balls.

Debating started considerably later than usual (i.e. 20 minutes) because we got a little but caught up in pool. It was a terrible debate anyway. We should have played a few more games of pool.