ANZAC 'legend'

Every time somebody opens their mouth to speak of the ANZACs, I never seem to hear anything negative. It's always, "They fought so heroically... showed great mateship... smiled in dire circumstances... etc.". From my perspective (some distance up my own ass), excluding the mateship, these are the things we should be dismissing. Everybody knows that 'heoric' and 'courageous' are just euphemisms for 'blind sheep'. They knew they were jumping over the barricades to certain death but they did it anyway. Why? To defend some notion of a 'motherland' that most of them had probably never even seen. This is absurd. The fact that they were smiling suggests that they too found something amusing about the whole conflict. Perhaps they realised all to late that they were screwed and found this to be thoroughly humorous. Perhaps they were laughing at their British counterparts and their ridiculous accents. Perhaps they had just gone totally delirious. Or perhaps they enjoyed all the killing.

Having said all that, I don't have anything at all against the ANZACs. Quite the opposite, ANZAC Day is one of the few public holidays that I believe in. What I have qualms against is the way that people over glorify the ANZACs and the war they were in. The fact that we have a march where we parade them in front of thousands of people is distasteful at best. Let them rest in peace.

Portrait of a Girl's Angst

I burnt another hole in my lungs,
Slashed my wrists
Just to see if I was alive.
And now I’m drowning in this crimson tub.
They feel sorry for you
And ashamed of me.

It would have been great
If I had grown up,
Married you,
Spat out two point three kids.
But I can’t do that now
And it’s my fault.
Always my fault…

You must know that I’m fucked up;
Or at least know that I’m fucked

Never mind the laws;
Or the pills;
Or the smiles;
That I have to break, take and fake
Just to be happy.

But you wouldn’t know that
Unless you look inside and imagine
Lying dead in a world that thinks you’re still alive;
Admiring the beauty of your corpse.

E-mail My Heart

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[To:] purple_gerbil_army
[RE:] Tomorrow

Just a reminder that tomorrow is February 14.
As always, we'll be the only two without roses
and without this notion of 'love'.
I opened my heart to you last year
and you left me standing at the door.
But i don't blame you;
I did the same to you
Two V-Days ago.

I won't give you another rose;
I just want us to be lonely
together.

A.

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She Reminds Me of Coffee

Everytime you look my way
your eyes remind me of coffee.
They reflect my smile,
just as the coffee reflects the moon
and its rehearsed smile
before they disappear in wisps.

Everytime you step out of the shower
I am reminded of coffee.
Your hair; dark in its smooth flawlessness
like coffee spilling onto the floor.

Everytime you laugh
your smile reminds me of coffee.
Warm snowflakes bearing a hope
that is not my own;
like energy lent
that must be repaid at the end
of each day.

Everytime you cry
your tears remind me of coffee.
Like condensed vapour on the lip
I know they will always dry
but I will still wipe them away.

Everytime I make coffee
I am reminded of you;
the fake smile I see in your eyes,
the false hope of your smile,
the perfection of your hair
slipping through my fingers
and how they help me through
every day.

If I were in the army...

... i'd be a dead man if laser tag is anything to go by. Went to Thuy's 18th birthday today (happy birthday, you're getting old =P) which was at some laser tag place in Leumeah (a.k.a. the middle of nowhere). Anyhow, first round was abysmal because i got shot more times than i shot people and my team got slaughtered. After a 5 minute breather, we went in for round two which was some what more successful. We still got killed but not quite as badly as we did the first time. Nothing to brag about, but it was an improvement. I even had a positive kill difference. Third round was absolutel chaos. No teams. It was supposed to be every man ('every person' for the p.c.) for themselves. Realistically, there were about nine triads stalking the arena and there was a hell of a lot of friendly fire. Eventually, people realised that they may as well go solo and play the hero so we had people running all over the place shooting everything with legs (not to mention a million things without legs). I was averaging about 5% accuracy for the day firing over 2000 shots in four rounds. So, not only would i get myself killed in a real war, the other guys on my side would be in a bit of shit without ammo too. HAHAHAHA!

Anyway, wishing Thuy a big happy birthday and may you have many more to come. I should also give Wakako a shout too since she has the same birthday as Thuy. Happy birthday to the two of you!

Interactive Post

At Libby's request, I will post two slightly different versions of the same poem. Your job, as faithful blog readers, will be to vote on which one you think is the better one. If you've got any other suggestions or alterations you'd like to make, i'd be more than glad to take those into consideration also. Anyway, here goes:

version 1:
my darling onion,
everytime i cut you
it puts me in tears

version 2:
my darling onion,
everytime i cut you
it brings me to tears

My penpal thinks i'm a chick...

So excited! Got my first ever letter from Wakako, my Japanese penpal ^^ I almost fell off my chair when i read the first line, "Dear Ms. Alan Do...". That really made my day. I'm making a note to always use 'boku' from now on instead of 'watashi'. And i'm sure it wasn't a mistake either because the letter (both pages of it) have heart shaped Winnie the Pooh stickers all over it. Hahah! But that aside, she sounds like a pretty cool chick. She's got 3 sisters and owns cats, dogs and rabbits (reminds me of Robert). And she likes udon. There's even a picture of a bowl of udon on the second page with labels that my science teacher would be proud of. Still haven't got a picture yet so i'll make sure to send one of myself in the next letter and ask for one. Hopefully she's hot and single *winks*

That aside, the other highlight of my day was the 5 minute rainfall at about 1 o'clock. I looked out the window and saw the rain and thought, "ah shits...". Then i realised my clothes were on the line and "ah shits" turned into "OH SHIT!". Doing my 'tsunami run' (as coined by Thuy), I grabbed the basket and de-lined my clothes in record time and before the rain stopped... about 2 minutes later >< Somebody out there is playing mindgames with me...

Onions

My darling onion,
everytime i cut you
it puts me in tears

Get Out Of Jail Free

That's the card i've got sitting in my hand right now. Get the hell out of jail. Exams are over! *runs up and down the street dancing* Currently enjoying my ninth hour of freedom and i'm telling you, it feels fan-bloody-tastic! What am i going to do with my 2 week pardon? The following things are currently on the agenda:

• Clean out my study. At the moment, it looks like Iraq after the Americans went through it.
• Clean my bedroom. Looks like post-USA Afghanistan.
• Vacuum the house for the first time in two months.
• Catch up on sleep lost during the school term (3pm everyday for a week ought to do the trick)
• Do some repair work on my three bikes. One is squeaking from the front handle bar, one has a crooked rear tyre and requires a time consuming spoke readjustment and the third just needs the brake cables tightened.
• Go to Thuy's laser tag party and be a terrorist for a day.
• Take one of the aforementioned repaired bikes on a 90km ride to Cronulla.
• Twice...
• Go to the city with Virginia and pray she doesn't make me try on weird clothes =P
• Watch the 15 or so DVDs that i haven't seen yet, even if it makes me blind.
• Catch up on school work and read Emma and/or Wild Swans so i actually know what the hell i am writing about next exam.

If all goes according to plan, this will be the first holidays where the primary activity is not lying around being apathetic. Then again, things rearely go according to plan do they? For those who are already on holidays; eat, drink and forget about reality for a while. For those who still have exams; good luck and hurry up and join the festivities! Cheers all!

Vexed by singing birds

As frequent visitors to this site will realise, this is just one great big cesspool of bitching and a cynicism. Right now I am feeling incredibly happy (for numerous reasons) which means I really have nothing to legitimately complain about. This is where my problem for today lies. Bored out my mind right now, I have to write a blog post about something and if there’s nothing legit to bitch about, what do I do?

With everything in my life going right for once (the sky seems to have levelled out) I’m having a dandy old time. Not even the impending failure of exams that I haven’t studied for is stressing me out (much). The birds are singing, the sun is shining and my lucky hat is jingling its merry tune. The only thing irking me at the moment is that I am completely out of haiku topics. There are, after all, only so many ways to say “life is wonderful’, especially when you compare it to the number of ways you can say “stick me on a cross right now and end my misery”. In short, I am annoyed because there is nothing for me to be annoyed about. Perhaps I should write a poem about not having anything to write a poem about. It’ll be just like this post; a wonderful paradox.

Mother Gave It To Her

She watches her shoes;
they grow smaller
then stop shrinking
and grow again.

The wind picks up
the sand, throws it
amongst red, yellow and orange.

Her nose twitches,
the swing shudders.

She sniffles,
bursts into tears.

Mother hears her,
comes running.

The lollipop is melted,
stuck to the plastic.
But she doesn't mind.
Mother gave it to her,
the sweetness mixed with tears.