To be or not to be...
Well, it's been a long time since I've blogged. Possibly the longest hiatus since I started in year 10 as a way to whittle away the early hours of morning. I have no real excuse for not blogging other than that I've just been too damn lazy and apathetic to do so. Of course, I've felt no need to use this blog as a place to vent because... well, being the holiday and all, everybody's got time aplenty to listen to my ranting and raving and general he-bitching. And after all this time, I wondered whether I still had it in me to continue blogging. I had planned to write up a eulogy and end the suffering of my poor neglected blog, but decided against it as uni is once again starting up which means I'll need a place to vent my spleen once again. Giving tree, thy name be blog.
I've been doing a great deal of thinking about what it is I've been doing and where it is that I want to go, eventually coming to the conclusion that I haven't the faintest clue. All my best laid plans in the past have all fallen through, usually the result of some rather amazingly outstanding circumstaces. With that experience in mind, I've decided that it doesn't particularly matter where I plan to go as long as I make the most of the insanity that happens along the way. After all, life without a pinch of randomness and a sprinkling of drama can hardly be called life.
I've also spent much time thinking about all the time I've spent without any real intimate relationship. My conclusion? That I'm better off waiting until I feel it's right and starting something that will last rather than diving head first into something that I'm going to regret afterwards. But then, that's the problem with relationships isn't it? It always feels right at the time because Cupid is such a cheeky, trigger happy little shit. And perhaps that's my problem. That I'm willing to wait. That I'm willing to be patient in this one thing where patience is perhaps not called for. Maybe it's time I roll the dice and see what comes up. With enough luck, I'll win the beauty pageant, end up directly at Mayfair and collect the spoils as I pass go. If not, I'll end up going to jail, directly to jail. In the end, it's just a game.
I've been doing a great deal of thinking about what it is I've been doing and where it is that I want to go, eventually coming to the conclusion that I haven't the faintest clue. All my best laid plans in the past have all fallen through, usually the result of some rather amazingly outstanding circumstaces. With that experience in mind, I've decided that it doesn't particularly matter where I plan to go as long as I make the most of the insanity that happens along the way. After all, life without a pinch of randomness and a sprinkling of drama can hardly be called life.
I've also spent much time thinking about all the time I've spent without any real intimate relationship. My conclusion? That I'm better off waiting until I feel it's right and starting something that will last rather than diving head first into something that I'm going to regret afterwards. But then, that's the problem with relationships isn't it? It always feels right at the time because Cupid is such a cheeky, trigger happy little shit. And perhaps that's my problem. That I'm willing to wait. That I'm willing to be patient in this one thing where patience is perhaps not called for. Maybe it's time I roll the dice and see what comes up. With enough luck, I'll win the beauty pageant, end up directly at Mayfair and collect the spoils as I pass go. If not, I'll end up going to jail, directly to jail. In the end, it's just a game.
posted by Yuki at
6:42 PM
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