Life is...

...supposedly like a box of chocolates. To which i would reply, "only if you're allergic cocoa and break out in hives". That's just the way it is. Life obviously wasn't made to be a happy thing. If it was, there wouldn't be famine, war, corruption, stress, politics, etc. or people telling us about these things and how to deal with them. The sooner we come to realise that life is about getting raped with a cactus the less painful it gets right? Well, apparently it doesn't. The more i think about how imperfect my existence is, the more depressed and angry i get. I can not believe that any god (real, false or otherwise) so cruel could exist. Which is why i'm an atheist. It's not just because i like to have a logical explanation nor is it because i lack faith. I just lack the vision to see that a 'greater being' could possibly be such a spiteful bitch.

And this is the bit where the, "there are so many people less fortunate than you, you should be grateful for what you have" crap kicks into effect. Yes, i acknowledge that i am one of the people lucky enough to lead a fairly comfortable existence. But i don't find this thought to be comforting at all. In fact, i find this to be a greater cause of vexation. Given all the luxuries of living in Australia, i still find both my friends and myself in stressful situations, i cometimes can't put my emotions into thought let alone words, the school i go to is run in a draconian manner and so on and so forth. And yet, i'm one of the more fortunate ones, which really makes me wonder, just how unfortunate does life have to get before we cease to consider ourselves to be fortunate? There's no such thing as a fortunate life or a more fortunate life, it comes only in many different types of f*cked up.

Of these varieties of f*cked up, the worst of all is known as 'being a teen'. Old enough to know that there are many problems in the world that can be fixed but still too young to do anything about them. Our parents keep telling us that we're old enough to take responsibility for our own actions... and then go and lecture us as though we were 4 year olds (yes, i realise that we do occasionally act like 4 year olds). What are we to think? Is this what responsibility feels like? Being told what to do, how to do it and when to do it? I always feel as though i'm powerless to control my own destiny because as of this exact moment, i feel like i'm out of control, as is my life. Spiralling towards some unseen but imminent doom.

So that's how i think of life. It's just one great big labyrinth that we all have to get through to find nothing but misery. On the other hand, i've also realised that it's not about how many times you fall over but how many times you can pick yourself back up.