Dumbest letter to the ed... ever...

I was flicking through the Fairfield Advance (forgot to fetch my copy of SMH today) when I came across the opinion page. In hindsight, it was stupid of me to even think there may be something of remote wit or interest in it. There was however this letter, entitled "Gasping over the high cost of cigs".

The government keeps increasing the price of cigarettes.
I started this habit at 15 years of age not knowing the seriousness of it.
Many times i have tried to give it up but i can't so I'm forced to pay a high price for cigarettes.
I don't drink to relax or relieve the stress that life throws me.
I don't see how giving up smoking is going to give me immortality nor the people around me.
We are all going to die eventually and no death is easy.
So incresing the price of cigarettes just causes people more hardship than what they are already going through.
If making us smokers stop smoking is the answer to cancer realted deaths then why doesn't the government ban sexual intercourse - that will stop AIDS from sprading?
I've never heard of people breaking into houses to steal money for smokes.
Maybe for heroine. All the smokers I know certainly don't steal their fags.
The government should let people have cigarettes at a lot cheaper price because the young won't stop taking up smoking.
Young people like to do what is not wanted by others, like drugs - it's a thrill.
So maybe it will encourage more of the young people not to smoke if it wasn't a "taboo"
Smoking is a human right.

Cheryl Johnson, Bonnyrigg

[SIC]

Things I'd like to point out:

• comparing cigarettes to sex is an insult to sex. Anybody who makes such an absurd link deserves to be shot.
• quitting smoking certainly won't grant you immortality (Who the hell have you been talking to?) but it will increase your life expectancy considerably. Research has also shown that regular sex also increases life expectancy.
• making cigarettes cheaper will only make it more accessible to children. Instead of lowering the price to hide the "taboo" of smoking from kids we should increase them indefintiely so that dipsticks like you can't afford to fuck yourselevs up.
• i'll concede that nobody lives forever, but i'll be laughing at your bed-ridden wheezing ass before i kick the proverbial bucket.
• cigarette tax is the only form of government revenue raising that i'll ever support.

In conclusion, smokers are the worst breed of people on this planet (as well as many others). All smokers should be hanged/castrated/crucified/burnt at the stake. I'll thoroughly enjoy the irony of these fags burning in Hell.