"You'll go to Hell"
Not everyday you hear that spoken in a serious tone is it? I copped that today from a charming evangelist woman today. Anyway, this is roughly how this empty threat came about:
Evangelist: If you were to be hit by a car later and died do you think you'll go to Heaven or to Hell?
Me: Neither. If I die, I die and that'll be the end of it.
Eva: You're wrong!
Me: *stifles laughter and offers confused expression instead*
Eva: If you pray to God everyday and go to church, all your sins will be forgiven and you will go to Heaven, otherwise you will go to Hell.
Me: Right... and how do you know all this?
Eva: It's in here *points to Bible*
Me: So if I were to write in a book that everything was created by a purple hippo would that automatically make that true?
Eva: No, because it's not in the Bible.
Me: I don't see how it's any more or less correct than the Bible.
Eva: *obviously frustrated* If you do not repent and pray you will go to Hell.
Well, it was a charming conversation. Usually when I run into evangelists, we have a pleasant conversation about the Bible and what it means to be Christian. And when I say that I'm an atheist, they ask if I've ever been to church before. Those are the sort of Christians who believe in God but don't really care if other people believe in the same idol they do so long as they believe in the same ideals (not to lie, not to kill, no envious feelings and all that jazz). I respect them because they respect my right to believe what I choose. Now, when somebody tells you that you'll go to Hell if you don't believe in God and worship his almighty mightiness it's hardly the sort of thing that makes you want to make friends. In fact, it's the sort of thing that makes you want to kill people. And assuming that there is a Hell, I'd much rather be there than have to deal with evangelistic idiots like this.
Fortunately, my friends were there (all three of them Christians) to end the stoush by saying that we had a train to catch. When we were out of audible range, one of them said, "I feel sorry for her..." to which I replied
"If I didn't have a train to catch I would have kept arguing"
"I know. I would have grabbed chairs and some popcorn"
Evangelist: If you were to be hit by a car later and died do you think you'll go to Heaven or to Hell?
Me: Neither. If I die, I die and that'll be the end of it.
Eva: You're wrong!
Me: *stifles laughter and offers confused expression instead*
Eva: If you pray to God everyday and go to church, all your sins will be forgiven and you will go to Heaven, otherwise you will go to Hell.
Me: Right... and how do you know all this?
Eva: It's in here *points to Bible*
Me: So if I were to write in a book that everything was created by a purple hippo would that automatically make that true?
Eva: No, because it's not in the Bible.
Me: I don't see how it's any more or less correct than the Bible.
Eva: *obviously frustrated* If you do not repent and pray you will go to Hell.
Well, it was a charming conversation. Usually when I run into evangelists, we have a pleasant conversation about the Bible and what it means to be Christian. And when I say that I'm an atheist, they ask if I've ever been to church before. Those are the sort of Christians who believe in God but don't really care if other people believe in the same idol they do so long as they believe in the same ideals (not to lie, not to kill, no envious feelings and all that jazz). I respect them because they respect my right to believe what I choose. Now, when somebody tells you that you'll go to Hell if you don't believe in God and worship his almighty mightiness it's hardly the sort of thing that makes you want to make friends. In fact, it's the sort of thing that makes you want to kill people. And assuming that there is a Hell, I'd much rather be there than have to deal with evangelistic idiots like this.
Fortunately, my friends were there (all three of them Christians) to end the stoush by saying that we had a train to catch. When we were out of audible range, one of them said, "I feel sorry for her..." to which I replied
"If I didn't have a train to catch I would have kept arguing"
"I know. I would have grabbed chairs and some popcorn"
posted by Yuki at
7:02 PM
16 Comments:
Haha Alan, notice how your blogs about religion don't have as much comments as the others? xD Nonetheless, I believe in interreligious harmony, and while many seem to be impinging their beliefs onto you (did I use that word right btw?), try not to provoke them further... you seem to be asking for it in this incident you just blogged about xD
By
εïз (c h i l l y), at September 07, 2006 9:25 PM
Haha I am totally with you there Alan.
Whenever mormans come round door-knocking, my dad and I have a bash at them! Okay, I shouldn't put it that way but we like to "challenge" them and ask questions which they can never answer without some reference to the bible which I DO NOT consider valid reasoning!!!
By
Jenny, at September 07, 2006 10:15 PM
Next time you get bothered by them just say that the bible has about as much interesting content as used toilet paper.
That'll send you to hell.
By
Anonymous, at September 08, 2006 11:31 AM
Thuy - I've tried that approach a few times. They just say, "But this will only take a a minute and it's a really important message". I usually don't mind because they're polite and friendly.
Cyd - she started it by asking me where I would go if I died. I was provoked.
Jenny and Lauren - I agree that the Bible is hardly a reliable source. It is, after all, the greatest piece of fiction ever written. That said, it still makes for an interesting read (especially Revelations).
By
Yuki, at September 08, 2006 12:11 PM
That Hillsong girl called mea relgious hypocrite :'( lol.
PS On a totally unreligious note...guess who beat Alan 4-1 in pool :P. Guess God really is on my side...
By
Anonymous, at September 08, 2006 6:00 PM
3-1 Ansel, don't go adding victories that never happened. It was 4-1 in total if you count beating Jeff.
By
Yuki, at September 08, 2006 8:18 PM
Ahh I love it when a good intellectual is confronted by an evangelist. Always results in hilarity and "but... it's in the Bible!!"
Yaha. The earliest parts of the Bible don't mention Satan, hell or the resurrection of Jesus.
By
Anonymous, at September 08, 2006 9:53 PM
XD At least you had some excitement that day, something that I rarely encounter... XD
By
Samantha, at September 10, 2006 9:17 PM
You donated blood. That was rather noble and the aftermath of it all was exciting-ish.
By
Yuki, at September 11, 2006 3:58 PM
No belief = No worries = Hell of a lot annoying voices around you.
Damn I've mentioned "hell"!!
Oh hell did I say "damn"!!??
*takes a deep breath*
shiiate <-- Now this is a word that has no religious associations, though inverted commas around it can quickly change its tone to something bizarre...
By
Anonymous, at September 11, 2006 9:40 PM
Shiiate looks an awful lot like shiite (spelling?). Religious association!
By
Yuki, at September 11, 2006 10:33 PM
By the way theres an evangelist pshycho roaming Sydney uni asking people if theyve heard the good news. Dont trust her, the good news is about god.
By
Anonymous, at September 12, 2006 11:43 AM
Thanks for the heads up. If i happen to run into her, I'll start the argument and then it's game on!
By
Yuki, at September 12, 2006 6:59 PM
*sigh*
Philosophy students...
By
Anonymous, at September 12, 2006 8:17 PM
Who was this stupid girl who doesn't seem to know the first thing about evangelism? And who were you with Alan? the three Christian friends?
By
Confuzzled KC, at September 13, 2006 9:55 PM
Ansel, Grace and Jimmy. I had a chat with some student life guys yesterday and they sort of clarified the whole 'eternal damnation' thing. Doesn't make me any less cynical but it does prove my point that extreme evangelists are idiots.
By
Yuki, at September 14, 2006 7:43 PM
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